Mare-ism Monday---Installment #5

Well, the kids have the stomach flu. I remember when I was a kid and had the stomach flu, I always wanted my mom. Well, when my kids have the stomach flu all I want--- my mom.
Boy, it sure is not fun. The two boys had the courtesy of coordinating their efforts by puking at the same time, They finally settled down to go to sleep around 3:00am. Good times. Good times.

Anyway, Big Mare was great when we were sick with the stomach flu. We always had 7up for our tummy, crackers and soup. Big Mare would set us up on the couch w/ a puke bowl, blankets and the TV. Most times she would lay with us which was a comfort to us and it also gave her a little extra sleep. Anyone that knows Big Mare--understands that she loves her sleep. And yes--all 4 of her daughters take after her. (From what I understand, this is a family trait on the Bossinger side:)

When we were sick w/ a cold, Vicks was the cure all. She would slather it on nice and thick.
'Rub Vicks on your chest, under your nose, etc. It will make you feel better and help you breathe."

OH-- and I can't forget the Caladryl Lotion. Ya know--the thick, minty smelling, pink stuff that was used when you got the chicken pox to stop the itching. It was a common remedy for any type of itch in our house--any!

Going to the doctor was always fun. Good ole Dr. Tanrikalu at the Whiting Clinic. If we were lucky enough to be sick enough and go, we would get McDonald's afterwards and sometimes coloring books and crayons.

I sure don't know how Mare did it w/ 4 sick kids at a time. Perhaps it was the age difference from the older two and the younger two but I give her "props" for doing it.

Thanks mom for taking good care of us. I hope I could be just as good w/ my kids.

Mare-ism Monday---Installment #4 and 1/2

To my mother at Christmas. You must know how much I love you. For I took hours to construct this beautiful poem, in just your honor.

‘Twas the night before Christmas at 936 Spruce Drive.
Big Mare’s daughters were excited and felt so alive.

The kitchen was packed full of good stuff to eat,
Turkey, Ham, and of course something sweet.

On weekdays the cupboard was stocked very full,
Cupcakes and Ho Ho’s, Ding Dongs and Swiss Rolls.

For holidays we would bake dozen of treats,
To take to Grandmas --to enjoy and to eat.

The Cookies wrapped in foil-- made a big twinkle,
Peanut butter, chocolate chip and Mare’s famous Crinkles.

It was time to go,--out the back door we went,
To fill the blue Ford Escort –the one with a dent.

Then all of a sudden, arouse such a crash,
We saw Big Mare’s arms--- fly up in a flash.

We looked down to see and made a big gasp,
Only to find Big Mare had fallen on her ass.

She looked up perturbed, as if woken out of bed,
“GET THE DAMN COOKIES”, was all that she said.

We wanted to ask if all was OK,
But if we didn’t save the cookies ---Oh the price we would pay.

Go Ree Ree, Go Leenie, Go Megzy and CoCo,
Pick up the cookies or we’re stuck with just Ho Ho’s.

Big Mare lay like a tick ready to pop,
Pointing her finger—“Be sure to get every last drop.”

We scattered and scurried to pick up the crumbs,
Frost bitten and cold with bleeding knuckles and thumbs.

The last cookie we salvaged from winters cold frost,
Our attention turn to Mare, who looked very lost.

We laughed at her hysterically to get her upright,
She glared and responded, “Kiss my ass you bitches-stay home tonight.”

Mare-ism Monday---Installment #4

Has been delayed until Wednesday---something really special.
To keep yourself occupied until then....

Go for "a" starbucks.
or
Go out for a coke.

(Ha--just a few Mare-isms to hold you until Wed.)

Like Mother, Like Daughter

This afternoon, I sent Abbey to go potty upstairs. After about 5 minutes, I asked her what she was doing and she said wiping herself w/ a wipe.

Well...I don't have baby wipes in the bathroom and Aaron was sleeping so I know she didn't get one from his bedroom. I ran upstairs and yep--she wiped her little bottom with..

Apparently, she loves Clorox wipes as much as I do except she uses hers in a personal way. Needless to say, she received an early bath but never complained of any burning or issues down below.

Mare-ism Monday---Installment #3

Big Mare knows how to come up with some doozie's. Just when I thought I would have to sit back and think about what to post, or dig around for something to tell, she just whips one up for me.

Each year, at Christmas Time, my 3 sisters, mom and I try to go shopping together and then out to dinner. This years shopping took us for a little visit to the hotel where my Uncle Larry and cousin Sean were staying. We decided to surprise them, knock on their door, cover the peep hole, and proceeded to sing Deck the Halls just like they do in The Christmas Story---FARR LA LAARR. Anyway, we arranged to meet Sean for dinner after our shopping at Olive Garden.

We somehow got on the subject of smoking, (probably talking about the last Mare-ism). We were discussing how smokey it can get in restuarants and how most places do not even allow it anymore. In true Big Mare fashion--a big light bulb went off above her head. She perched herself on the edge of her , back straight as a board and put her hands in the air making a box shape and said:

"I just don't know why, with all the spacemen flying up into space, and all that space up in space, why those NASAWWW (NASA -but Mare pronounces is w/ the AWW at the end)-why those NASAWWW people cannot just find an invention to just suck this smoke right up into space."

We stared at her, looked at each other and burst out laughing---hysterically laughing. Our cousin Sean was politely trying not to laugh but how could one not.

Again, in true Mare fashion, she started rocking back and forth--back still straight--chuckled w/ us, ran her fingers thru her hair and scurried out to have a cigarette. I believe she may have called us a bunch of profane names before she walked out but I couldn't quite hear her. I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out of Olive Garden for being so loud.

We are so blessed that Big Mare has a sense of humor and does not hold grudges. I found out that she has read the Mare-isms and said, "Ya--I guess they are sort of funny."

Mare-ism Monday---Installment #2

So... Big Mare has found out about Mare-ism Monday. She refuses to read it. I told her that it is nothing bad but it is actually quite humerous. I told her she would probably get a big kick out of it however, she still refuses. She said maybe, "One day". I said, yes, "One day, when I publish my book about her." She chuckled and said, "Oh..I'll probably be dead when that happens". Now.... she says this alot. I'm starting to think that perhaps that the will to live is starting to dwindle in Big Mare. She was diagnosised w/ COPD this past week and is feeling a little down about herself. I want to think, (and smokers correct me if I am wrong) this should be the time to quit.

My sisters and I have always gotten on her case about smoking. In fact, one of my greatests visions of Big Mare, is sitting at the kitchen table, head lowered with her thumb holding up her forehead with her lit cigarette between her fingers. All the while, with her other hand, grasping her luke warm cup of coffee made w/ a half of cup of milk and 3 full tablespoons of sugar. Or, "occassionally", (def of "occassionally: 3/4 of the time), Mare would also try to wedge the phone between her opposite ear and shoulder, telephone cord stretching as far as it could go because sitting right by the phone was out of the question. Lastly, out of a nervous habit, she would shake her legs, later to be known as restless leg syndrome, so the entire table would rattle. Oh what a site to behold. Multi tasking at its greatest. I guess that's who I get it from.

I often wondered as a child and even question now : How the hell did she never set her hair on fire? Who the heck could spend so much time on the phone? (I realized the answer to this just in the last few years.) What or who does the word "typical" refer to? How the heck could somone smoke so much without even a breath of fresh air in between?

When the latter and similar questions about her smoking has been asked of Big Mare, the responses were:

"I don't puff them all. I let them burn and put them out."
"My cough is not from smoking, it's from the radiation from the whooping cough as a child."
"They never told us smoking was bad when pregnant." (Hence the low birth weight of us all.)
"Smoking was never as bad 20 years ago, now they are more addictive."
"Everyone that smokes has Emphsema."
"Second hand smoke doesn't cause cancer, it's just an old wives tale."
Cough Cough Cough, Hack Hack Hack, Puff Puff Puff "I think (Puff) I have pneumonia (Puff)."
"I cut down to 2 packs a day."
"Hey, if you go to the store, pick me up a pack of cigarettes." Me: "You just got a pack this morning?" Mom: "It for tomorrow."

Ok-so maybe this sounds a little mean, but maybe it's the motivation she needs to get on track to a non smoking life style. I want Big Mare to be around for a long time for my own selfish reasons. I want her to watch my kids graduate high school, college and get married.

SO GET ON IT MARE! START LIVING A SMOKE FREE LIFE!

Tis the season to be singing

I just overheard Abbey singing a lovely Christmas ditty...

Halleluijah, Halleluijah.......Everybody dance now....

Need I say more..

USPS

OK--does anyone know if the USPS guy is allowed to smoke in his truck? I purchased a few things that were delivered by the mailman and they REEEK of cigarette smoke. On Monday, I thought maybe it would be just a one time thing but yesterday and today, I received 2 more packages and they smell so bad that I had to throw the box away.

Guess I'm just blowing smoke (ha ha) but I paid good money for these items and am sad that they are stinky. :(


UPDATE: The USPS DID call me back. Funny---the guy said that no--he our temporary carrier doesn't smoke cigarette's, he smokes cigars. YUCK. He is not allowed to smoke in the truck and only on breaks and lunch.

Weekly Mare-ism.

I have decided to post a Weekly Mare-ism. What is a Mare-ism? ---well, Big Mare--aka, my mom, is lovingly known as "Big Mare". Not sure how we started calling her that instead of mom but it has just stuck.

Our mother is a ...umm...cough cough...hmm hmmm.. a little different. I'm not sure if it due to growing up the only girl w/ 4 other boys but she is definately a little strange. She loves the comfort of her own home and her lounge clothes. So it is not uncommon to go for a visit and she is wear pajama bottoms, hoodie w/ the hood on, and a robe all at the same time. INSIDE the house. We are not sure what fashion magazine or show she saw this ensemble on, but I, and my sisters do not take on her fashion sense.

Don't get me wrong, we love our mother. She was great to us growing up, made dinner everyday an did what she could for us. But boy....did she, and still does, come up w/ some doozies. Perhaps it is the cigarettes that have burned off a few cells in her brain, --not sure --but here are a few that might seem "typical" from mother and others that will make you scratch your head...

'I'll give you something to cry about.' (However, she would be chasing us around the house, not once catching us as we laughed and ran into our rooms. She was so tired from chasing us that she never made it up the stairs to finish the task.) Now, I know what you are all saying. My parents said this too but did yours follow up w/ "You better not let me catch you, 'cause if I start beating, I'll never stop." Like I said, not once, were we caught, nor do I think it was her intention to beat us but to just scare the heck out of us.

"I once knew a kid...." ( She has and still uses this line whenever she can. She will finish it with comments such as... " who choked on a superball" or "who died, walking up hill both ways to school w/out any shoes on" or something really outlandish about a kid dying.)

One of the latest and greatest is regarding my little nephew Mason. He was running a fever yesterday and she said "Maybe he has a fever cause he ate too much"... HUH? What the HECK???

Where does she get this stuff? More to come in the future... Stay tuned.