Mare-ism Monday---Installment #2

So... Big Mare has found out about Mare-ism Monday. She refuses to read it. I told her that it is nothing bad but it is actually quite humerous. I told her she would probably get a big kick out of it however, she still refuses. She said maybe, "One day". I said, yes, "One day, when I publish my book about her." She chuckled and said, "Oh..I'll probably be dead when that happens". Now.... she says this alot. I'm starting to think that perhaps that the will to live is starting to dwindle in Big Mare. She was diagnosised w/ COPD this past week and is feeling a little down about herself. I want to think, (and smokers correct me if I am wrong) this should be the time to quit.

My sisters and I have always gotten on her case about smoking. In fact, one of my greatests visions of Big Mare, is sitting at the kitchen table, head lowered with her thumb holding up her forehead with her lit cigarette between her fingers. All the while, with her other hand, grasping her luke warm cup of coffee made w/ a half of cup of milk and 3 full tablespoons of sugar. Or, "occassionally", (def of "occassionally: 3/4 of the time), Mare would also try to wedge the phone between her opposite ear and shoulder, telephone cord stretching as far as it could go because sitting right by the phone was out of the question. Lastly, out of a nervous habit, she would shake her legs, later to be known as restless leg syndrome, so the entire table would rattle. Oh what a site to behold. Multi tasking at its greatest. I guess that's who I get it from.

I often wondered as a child and even question now : How the hell did she never set her hair on fire? Who the heck could spend so much time on the phone? (I realized the answer to this just in the last few years.) What or who does the word "typical" refer to? How the heck could somone smoke so much without even a breath of fresh air in between?

When the latter and similar questions about her smoking has been asked of Big Mare, the responses were:

"I don't puff them all. I let them burn and put them out."
"My cough is not from smoking, it's from the radiation from the whooping cough as a child."
"They never told us smoking was bad when pregnant." (Hence the low birth weight of us all.)
"Smoking was never as bad 20 years ago, now they are more addictive."
"Everyone that smokes has Emphsema."
"Second hand smoke doesn't cause cancer, it's just an old wives tale."
Cough Cough Cough, Hack Hack Hack, Puff Puff Puff "I think (Puff) I have pneumonia (Puff)."
"I cut down to 2 packs a day."
"Hey, if you go to the store, pick me up a pack of cigarettes." Me: "You just got a pack this morning?" Mom: "It for tomorrow."

Ok-so maybe this sounds a little mean, but maybe it's the motivation she needs to get on track to a non smoking life style. I want Big Mare to be around for a long time for my own selfish reasons. I want her to watch my kids graduate high school, college and get married.

SO GET ON IT MARE! START LIVING A SMOKE FREE LIFE!